..I'd like to talk about it because its boiling up inside me, I gave up journal writing, because I thought my life was boring. I kept my thoughts though. My autobiography is a history of my thoughts. My thoughts have been useful to me, not right aways though. They seem to need a while to gestate in my notebooks; until, with enough time they reappear and combine with my current state of mind to make a form, or something whole, something I send out into the world

Balance on the centre of a sound until you fall to dream

I was born a fool, and I will grow old a fool, I will only become more devious.

Continuity

All agency is with the auteur, and I think that this is a problem. I don't want all the control, I don't want to know whats coming around the corner, I want to be surprised like my readers. How do I get myself not to look? Sometimes authors can write a novel or a story in such a frenzy that they say they feel like a channel for the story rather than its author. Is that what happens when the author manages to loose control, or lose control? How much should an author read, how much should an author seek adventure?  Well, I bet you these are bad questions and false choices, although they dominate my mind at this moment, I am sure I will ask them of myself again, and all the while keep writing, just as I have before and today.

We are so tiny.

We can't accurately estimate how much we know, nor how much there is to know. I suppose though that the totality of knowledge is proportional to the volume of the universe. But never mind, pride comes before a crash, and today it seems pride is considered a virtue.